Took advice from OCF members and went back to my family doctor. He feels very sorry that the ENT he sent me to was not behaving professionally for having scolded me about my smoking. Nonetheless, I have cut my smoking down to 2 smokes a day and hopefully 0 by next week. That being said, my family doctor has sent me to another ENT who will be seeing me on December 22, 2003. Until then, there is nothing I can do except wait. Extremely hard to do now that I have almost completely lost my voice. My family doctor believes that his suspicion of cancer is correct and that the cancer has now spread to my voice box. I guess it is a good thing that I have lost my voice...now nobody can hear me screaming to help release the frustration I am feeling. I know, I know, "cut out the self pitty B.S." everyone here ( in the forum) has gone through, or is going through the same thing too. Until December 22 I won't be posting anymore messages as I am trying to keep up a positive attitude and try to gear myself up for the fight ahead...Which I know I can win! I am one of the toughest of characters that I know of and I know that I CAN beat this thing! and if not, I will be giving God an earful every second of every minute of everyday if he...never mind...just a little ranting on my part. Goodbye for now, will be back in 2 weeks with the update. Merry Christmas to all and the best for 1 of 100 more New Years! God bless...