Brazilliangirl - Liza started off T1 N0 - they removed the area (cheek) grafted her, removed 18 nodes all were clear. They thought that was the end of it. I was a T2 N0 to start but within a month after biopsy I had a node involved. my dr had already told me when I was N0 he was removing 40 nodes period.

Liza did not have rads or chemo, after the first operation. She found another node a few months later - waited a bit went to the dr - it was positive for cancer - they removed 20 more nodes - ALL had cancer - at this point they had to wait for her to heal... Before radiation, but the cancer was on the move. It had moved into the skin of her neck they did chemo for 3 mos to stop it then did rads - three months after rads her head and neck were clear but at this point it had moved into the vertebrae of her spine - they did more radiation, but they were chasing it at this point and were giving her chemo to try and stabilize her.

Bottom line - she had a very aggressive cancer, and well - would haves and could haves being what they are, I guess it depends on the dr and the choices he makes and how aggressively you want it treated, and how active you are in your care... Some people just don't want to know. Or trust that their dr will do the best or the most for them. Pushing your drs for answers doesn't make them mad - it should give them an opportunity to share their knowledge and makes them realize they are accountable to you - and frankly a good dr confident in their skills would welcome both a second opinion and questions. Some people stand back and let the drs do their stuff or give off vibes that they want as minimal a disruption as possible to their lives, this effects the treatment you get - ultimately I believe do whatever you can to get it the first time - that way there are no regrets if it comes back.

I'm not sure what went in between the first dr Liza had and her. But I just wish he'd done a little more from the outset... No one knows if that would have changed things some cancers are just super aggressive. Anyway we've all read the stats and from the outset I've never felt comfort in being a T2 - a T1 could die just as easily as a T4 could live - its random, but this is why we always push newcomers to be active in their care, go to the BEST CCC available to them, and throw the book at it the first time out - because you may not get a second chance.

Hugs try not to freak. RIP Liza...