I'll keep you in my prayers HX. It's a nervous time waiting for the scan. I'll pray for you to have an all clear result. Also, I will pray that you will have peacefulness while you wait.
In the meantime, try to distract yourself with other thoughts the best that you can. I know it is hard. But, withhold whatever you are able to from the monster. It's already required way too much from you. I hope the discomforts go away soon and you can more easily quiet your fears.
Congratulations on the birth of your nephew! He's a lucky little guy to have you in his life. In you he'll have a wonderful example of strength and faith.
God's blessings to you, dear HX. And, Merry Christmas!
Love ya!
Sandy
xoxox