Cindy
I am a nurse too and my husband was diagnosed with the same thing .He just finished chemo and radiation and his last MRI showed the tumor on the base of his tongue and the lymph nodes are gone . He was told that surgury was not the way to go. I quess it really varies by MDs . I am pleased with his results. Although the way to get tjheir is very hard. He likewize was extemely stubborn about the peg tube and lives on Zylocaine viscous and Ensure plus He followed the Drs 6 cans a day and showed such determination It wasamazing. He was hospitalized twice for 5 day straight chemo which really slammed him once for dehydration and then did weekly chemo and daily radiation. With a couple days off when he couldn,t tolerate it. The reason I'm telling you this is because of your husbands concerns. The hardest part of being a nurse in this journey is
letting your husband make his own choses and have control over this. You have to help him research his options and decide . Whatever the results his spirit is crucial for making it and if he has control of something even not getting a peg tube [minor to us but for some reason major to some]
Please look into seeing if the disfigurement is neccessary before he makes that choice. Whatever way he decides I wish you both the best
Diane