Welcome, Gwenny. What Julie said is exactly correct and the operative word is "temporary." Treatment can be pretty miserable, but the misery ends. Treatment time really is a very small block out of a lifetime, and stepping back to look at the big picture can help. This is something that needs to be done now, but do not stop planning for after. In my case, even when I was sick, I kept telling myself it was just a temporary situation -- and it was. Friends and family were so positive and kept making plans for what we would do when I was back to being me, that I didn't have a chance to look at it as more than just a necessary inconvenience. This is not to trivialize what your brother-in-law is experiencing, just to remind you to look to the future. I did the surgery/rad/chemo dance and by the time I was 8 weeks out from treatment, I was singing and dancing for real. In summary, I believe it is important for you to focus on the near future as much as the present to keep everyone's spirits up. Good luck to you all!
Joanna