I guess it all depends on how well you adjust to the new you. I myself have found a peace with myself, and I who I am. I truly believe that I am a better person, who is living life to its fullest potential. I take inspiration from so many places, and incorporate it into my life as I live it.

With that said, I had my ENT follow up on Friday (October 7th). When he felt my bump, he stated he really didn�t think it was much of anything, as it was on the opposite side of the original occurrence. He ordered a CT scan just �because of the history�, it was the right thing to do. Of course, later on, I over thought it, and started to think that he was just being nice so I wouldn�t worry. But then, what does that change. We all know the drill, so what is there to worry about. I am not in denial, but there is nothing that can be said or done without the facts. I always read that �it�s nothing until it�s something� on the board, and it rings true.

On Thursday, I had my CT scan, with a follow up scheduled on Monday (Oct 17). All and all, it�s going by the book. All part of the post treatment drill that we become accustom to.

Now the curveball. I picked up the film on Friday, to bring to my Monday appointment. Well, being a �House� fan, I did my best impersonation of Cr House, and started to review the film. When I had the scan, we put a marker on near the spot. Well, I sure can see it. My first reaction is that I am not crazy. There it is, plain as day. But then, the size of it wasn�t anything shocking. Maybe a marble sized clear margin kind of lump. Then, I thought since they went into my chest a bit, I would look at my esophagus, as I have been having food get stuck in my throat (after my windpipe, but before my stomach). As I followed the film slices down, at the end, the tube varied off to the right because o f some mass. Boy o boy, did I get going. That had to be the worst few hours of my life. The mass was in inches.
But upon further review (aka Google // other CT Scans), I discovered that t was my Trachea, not esophagus, and that the mass was my aorta crossing over. This was all normal stuff. This brought me back to earth, and the reminder that I am not a doctor, and I could get really lost trying to interpret what I am seeing.
All and all, I am back in my �[post treatment mode�, just following the process we all know to do. The professionals will look and advise. I trust the team of experts I have relied on over the last 5 or 6 years. I also have the other opinion route, should I doubt anything, but I have never had to pull that card. Once you establish a good, open dialog with your caregivers, you establish a relationship which takes you through the post treatment flair ups.
If this does become something, I�ll hop over to the recurrence section, but for now, it is what it is. Another one of the post treatment goodies we experience.

For those just getting through, or are still n it, this is not a bad thing. A lot of lessons you learn going through the treatments is something that will guide you in future experiences, regardless of what it is (side effects, recurrences, or something that has nothing to do with nothing). What doesn�t kill you only makes you stronger, and hopefully my words and experiences show you that to be true.

Cheers and I will update sometime next week after my follow up on the Scan

Michelle, best of luck to you too.

Mike