Hi there... My dr. Said the exact same thing to me! He didn't like the look of it. This was traumatic.

he was right though. I too had a bad feeling - on some level I think you know. I have to learn to listen to my body! I'm getting better at it though.
The tongue surgery is probably a little different depending on the size of the tumor. If they are removing it with large margins, they may rebuild it. If they do it's a long surgery followed by time in the hospital, here in Canada protocol is 10-14 days. It's less so in the states I believe. Usually they want you eating here before you go home,
If they rebuild a part of the tongue you will have stitches possibly at the donor site as well. The neck dissection surprisingly enough was not painful, mostly I was numb and stiff. They may trache you - this was the part I hated the most. Pain is a relative term. I have a high pain tolerance. I had hysdromorph for 2 days post op aster that it was a few Tylenol threes. You may have arm and shoulder issues and need physio post op. Generally your tongue is swollen, and theres a lot of drooling... This subsides within a few weeks. I was able to eat well 20 days post op. Semi solids and solids, but I used water and put the food, pills (vitamins) In on my good side and had no problem.
It really depends on y and your pain tolerance. Good luck - I hope your biopsy comes back negative. And if you have any questions feel free to pm me! Take care!