Sherry - when I read this it took me right back to my darkest moments in the weeks after radiation. I actually felt a physical darkness and cold that seemed like it was going to overtake me at any moment. I was scared that I was going crazy and I, like you was not at all prepared for it and I felt like I was never going to get better. I also felt like I was going to disappear and that no one would even notice.
The light is there - one thing that I wished I had done more of - that I really think would have made a difference- was calling my friends and family over to visit to distract me a bit and pull me away from the darkness and bring me closer to the light.

Life does come back Sherry - it really, truly, honestly does!!! I just got back from a 5 mile run a little bit ago - as I was running, I thought (as I often do now since treatment) about how far I've come and still can't believe I feel like ME again. I can still vividly remember when I didn't - I thought that the real me was lost and that I'd never find myself again - and treatment ended for me 6 months, 19 days ago.
Hang in there! Call a friend, see a counsellor at the cancer clinic, join a support group - just reach out - there are a lot of people out there who want to help you!

If you feel like talking just PM me and I'll send you my number!

Love, light, and hugs to you Sherry!