Fr. Mike, Mark and Brian have given you good information, especially the part about it looking worse than it feels. For me, there was a great deal of swelling, with drains, that made me look like some kind of balloon animal, but that receded over a couple of weeks. By the second day, I did not need pain meds because of the numbness. 14 mos. later, much feeling has returned to my neck, shoulder, and ear on that side. In my case a nerve was cut, but stitched back together and at one year I suddenly regained full range of motion of arm and shoulder. The idea of any surgery is pretty scary, but this one, although major, is as one person on this forum once described it -- almost a walk in the park. If this is on your schedule, you can face it confidently. There will be little or no pain, and if you are in reasonably good health otherwise, the healing will be pretty quick. I also had a graft in my mouth which was monitored hourly, so I had a hard time getting out of the hospital, but when I did, I was out doing yard work the next day, so you can see it is not necessarily debilitating. Whatever your treatment plan, we will be with you every step of the way.
Joanna