Welcome to OCF. I think it's great that you found the will to open up about your issues. You are certainly not alone here when it comes to anxiety over everything from diagnosis to treatments and recurrences. Hopefully this very empathetic and giving group here will be a haven for you as you deal with things. While distance from the vent will certainly help you, to some extent (at least in my opinion) this will always be part of who you are. I am 12 years out, and still have fears and insecurities about much of it. I just try to take on each day as it comes and do the best I can with things. Some days are really worse than others, but there are plenty of good ones that make the fight totally worthwhile. Congratulations on your survival landmarks. I wish you many more to come.

Brian, stage 4 oral cancer survivor. OCF Founder and Director. The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.