TIM...thanks for giving me hope for improvement...it's difficult to write things here in the forum because my emotions, hopes, fears, etc. change from "things will never get better"...to "ok..slowly slowly be patient." from one hour to the next my brain can totally reverse itself depending on how my throat is doing....the hardest thing is forcing myself to eat...i am so limited as to what i can get down and still tolerate the tasteless mass. then it always feels as if there is something still stuck in my throat causing an ongoing gag reflex.....i don't know if other's have experienced similiar problems but god sometimes it just doesn't seem worth the 24/7 ordeal. then to top it off...as much as i try to be in a good nature for my wife and grandson...i just seem to have no patience with them and am often an insufferable wretch toward both. i am always apologizing to both and running for my meds. so for right now i have changed definitly for the worse...how my wife handles both of us is beyond my understanding. once again Tim, words of encouragement from others (who have been there and back) have great effect on me. thanks to all for responding.