Oh gosh Anne, I am sorry to read this. Harry must be so devastated by the success then a complete turn around. I am so sorry he is going thru this!!! At least he is not in pain from the osteoradionecrosis any longer, that pain is excruciating!

Please remember we are all different. I went thru something similar when I had my jaw surgery. But the difference was my free flap failed while I was still in the medically induced coma. I slept right thru the whole thing. The second surgery wasnt an easy one working on not just a radiated area but also a place that just had a major operation. Somehow I picked up MRSA and ended up staying in the hospital for 2 months. I did have a feeding tube put in when I had the first surgery.

When the docs did my second surgery, the metal jaw was removed. My ENT reviewed the options with me and advised against trying to redo the original surgery and put in another metal jaw. He said I could also use my leg bone or a cadaver bone. He warned me of the high risk of failure that I ran if I would retry it. He said he didnt think I was physically strong enough to get thru another attempt. I chose to stay like I was and recently had some reconstructive surgery which has helped. It was pretty minor compared to the others. Ive come to terms with how I look and enjoy my life how it is now. It took a while for me to regain my strength and to mentally handle my situation.

The best thing you can do for your husband is to be by his side. Harry may not even remember alot of this time. I couldnt remember my son coming to see me but he sat there every single day. He would remind me of what we talked about then I could remember his visit. My son helped me to walk the halls every day to help me get stronger. So just be there with him and talk to him so he doesnt feel so alone. If he is allowed to walk that will help him to keep up his strength. Check with his doctors to see if he is allowed to go on assisted walks around the floor he is on. This also breaks up the day for him so he isnt so bored.

Dont be surprised if the swelling takes a couple of months to subside. Most doctors will make you wait for a year before they do any reconstructive surgery. I begged my docs but they kept telling me no. The area must heal before they try any reconstruction. Also dont be shocked if he physically looks different. Not just from the swelling, the surgery could leave him disfigured. Make sure you speak to the doc about what you should expect. I know to you it isnt important but to Harry this can be very difficult.

I see your husband already did HBO, he could need more. Thats how I ended up doing so many, I had a tunnel that ran along my cheekbone to a hole under my ear. It just wouldnt close. It took about 10 or 11 months for that wound to close. All wounds must heal from the inside out. Harry's wound sounds like it is very deep. Surgery will close it. I had IV antibiotics with the picc line for 9 months. That is unusual but dont be surprised if Harry comes home from the hospital with the picc line.

I would ask for a peg tube too as long as Harry is ok with this. It could be a few weeks to a couple months before he has recovered enough to eat again. The NG tube is more of a shorter term item. Make sure you ask the doc his estimate of recovery time. That will determine if he really will need a peg tube. If he needs a trach, ask for a possey muir valve. It will allow him to talk while it is in.

Try your best to help Harry keep his spirits up. This could be a challenge. I havent been a caregiver so dont have any ideas about how to do this. Caregivers are such special people! Make sure you take care of yourself thru all of this. Its important to get your proper rest and nutrition too! I hope I havent scared you about this. Its so much better to be prepared going into this than getting a shock later. If I missed anything or you have further questions please just ask.