As a newbie to the whole oral cancer thing, I've had nothin' but learning experiences since my diagnosis in September.
Three things I've learned this week alone are:
1. Just because your newly revised obturator fits better than the old one doesn't mean that you won't:
a. Drip saliva out of your nostrils during prayers at church (wups)
b. Sneeze an entire ramen noodle halfway out of your schnozz during lunch (thank Frog there was nobody but me around to see that happen)
c. Have the dadratted thing suddenly slip out of place and have your "s"es turn into "sh"es, thus giving the person on the end of the phone the conviction that you've suddenly gotten very, very drunk.
2. People who say things like, "You look *great*! What's your diet?" are not generally impressed when you tell them, "Oh, gee, thanks. It's the cancer."
3. Those who wish to define you primarily as Brave, A Fighter, Awesome, Incredible, and So Inspiring may be surprised by the strength of your right hook when you're having a down day. Luckily, your friends will not be, and will joke about same while posting your bail.
It's been....an adjustment. This was my first full week being able to wear the obturator (without speech bulb) all day on top of healing tissue. The best reaction I got to all of the awful, depressing things that happened this week--and there were a few, mostly related to my dealing with body image and my functional status--was from a guy at the gas station where I normally fill up.
I'd told the folks there about the diagnosis and had warned them that I wouldn't be in for a couple of weeks, then went back. The dude at the counter asked how things were going, and I said, well, you know, not too bad, except that I snorted half of an entire Ramen noodle out of my left nostril at lunch today.
He stopped dead. He stared at me for a minute. His eyes grew wide. And then, at the same time, he and I both said:
"PARTY TRICK!!!"
Oh, and one other really great reaction: a buddy of mine told me he couldn't wait until my "mouthparts" were better so we could chat on the phone. I told him that his saying that made me feel like the enormous, praying-mantis-like Queen of an invading alien army.
"I'll bet," was his return in chat, "that no man has ever made you feel like *that* before."
