Anne - there were many times when my son was not very positive and it broke my heart to see him, and feel like there was nothing I could say or do to make his pain (emotional and physical) any better. Once when I saw him hunched over on the couch with his head in his hands, all I could do was hold him and tell him things would get better. (I may have been trying to convinced myself as well as him) Once, he got angry, accusing me of not knowing how he felt - and I guess that was true but I still wished there were some way I could take away all the hurt. He was on meds for depression at the time so maybe it would have been worse had he not been on the meds. Have you asked the doctor if Gordon could be depessed? Going through cancer treatment I would think is enough to make anybody depressed. Take care of yourself, too, so you can stay positive. Being a caregiver is not always easy.