Peter - sorry that the stress is taking such a huge toll - I am relatively new to the OCF as well and have always had my questions answered and concerns addressed realistically but kindly by members who know what they're talking about. There are members who have researched all aspects of this disease and its treatment and have lived through it and are offering what they know to everyone. Please ask questions and share as much as you're comfortable disclosing - you won't be judged. At some point we've all been fearful to the core - if nothing else, it may make you feel better to just get it off your chest - it might help with the stress too. There's always someone on the forum who's listening. Beth/Scootersmom