Susan

The Hospital wouldn't let my wife into see me the first night after my glossectomy surgery claiming I'd be too sedated to know she was there. I woke up alone in the ICU with tubes coming not only out of every natural orifice I had, but new holes in my throat for the traech tube, 3 drains for the neck dissection, long tube out of my forearm to drain the wrist free flap transplant and a suction tube taped to my mouth with oxygen tubes in my nose alongside a nasal gastric feeding tube.
Don't worry: It sounds and looks a lot worse than it feels
Next morning, I was fine and even able to talk thru the trach.
I was being "very heavily sedated" but an "irresponsible & adventurous youth" has left me an amazing drug tolerance so it was frustrating to just lay there. They kept me in ICU for 3 days then in the hospital another 9 days for a dozen days of captivity. For me, what I wanted from a caregiver do post surgery was to visit daily and also learn from the nurses and hospital what help I would need once I got home.
You sound like a wonderful sister
Charm