This board is full of people alive and well, that at the time of discovery, had node involvement. I had positive nodes on both sides of my neck (very advanced to have that happen) and I am still here 12 years out. You need to read the page on staging on the main web site, here http://oralcancerfoundation.org/facts/stages_cancer.htm and you need to have your doctor explain to you what stage you were at time of initial treatment. This pretty much dictates treatment protocols, using the NCCN guidelines that you should follow.

Then you need to tell us if you were treated (and treatment planned) by a single doctor or doctors all of one discipline (ie surgery) or by doctors from multiple backgrounds. Those that have the best long-term results after this thing bites you, usually have multidisciplinary treatments involving radiation, chemo, and surgery in some combination, especially once you have it progress to cervical node involvement like you. My guess from your post is that you were initially seen by a surgeon. I would strongly recommend that now that you have gotten through this part of it, you have consultations with doctors at a comprehensive cancer center that are trained in the other disciplines so a determination can be made if this is all that you need, or if your treatments need to continue. And Kelly has it right... this is the place to come with all the questions and frustrations, those are the very reason it exists.