what a mess...but then that's what brings us caregivers/family members and patients here. The folks on here need to know more about the actual problem....and we need to know what your dad has had done. I'm reading this and getting that he had a neck dissection? followed by rad and chemo? Take a minute and if you know...do your signature line on profile so that folks have the basic info of what your dad's diagnosis was, and what treatment he had and is having.
Second, if I had a nickle for every time my husband stubborned up on me I'd be a rich woman. He had a chyle leak after his neck dissection. It was fixed (sort of) by a second surgery. He has declined treatment ever since and is not doing well. I'm stubborn as well and we've done the push,pull, drag thing and got a few answers but not enough. This disease is a monster. No doubt about it. You will probably hear from Cookey on here but to get real answers folks need to know more.
I'm a big advocate of showing up when my folks either wouldn't understand or tell what was going on. Luckily, they knew i'd do that and accepted it. How old is your dad?
We're all here for you...just need some more info.