I want to express my sincere sympathies to you and your family. It is a great loss and she sure sounded like a fighter!

Thank you for sharing your story with the forum. I lost my brother to tongue cancer in 2006, he was 47 and it seems like yesterday, I am struggling everyday and reliving our last moments as well.

You and your brother were such great support for her and I am sure she is smiling on you both. It is wonderful to hear that she did get a chance to see her grandchildren tht must have brought her so much joy and happiness.

She sounded like such a strong woman, fighting every minute, much like my brother did as well. He did not want to give up for a second, he would go for surgery after surgery, chemo, radation, clinical trials, he lost his tongue as well not to surgery, but he fell apart after so much radiation to the tongue. But to see his desire to live, gave me strength as well. My life changed in an instant the day he was diagnosed. I know now what life is really about and the little things don't matter as much.

I cant say you won't struggle with this for a while, it is a great loss, but know you were there for her every minute. YOu were her strength, you gave her love and that is all we can do sometimes. It is the saddest and most frustrating thing to watch someone you love be in pain and you can't do anything to ease it. I wanted to scream, and most of the time I did! But I know I was there for my brother until the day he passed, and I told him I loved him everyday. This helped me alot knowing he knew we all loved him so much. I have regrets too, maybe I should have spent more time with him before he got sick? But I was there when he needed me the most, that is what you did as well.

You were there for your mom when she needed you the most, and that should be a little comforting to you.

You do need to grieve and that is expected, just take care of yourself and your new baby!

All my best,

Susan