hi i am the girlfriend of a cancer patient. My name is Denise, He is 42 and they say he is now terminal his name is David.The cancer started as a small sore under his tongue 2007.They removed his teeth then he had 27 rad treatments and the cancer came back under his tongue.so they did radical neck disection. and put flap off cheek in floor of mouth. 10 more rad treatments. about 6 mo later it metasises in jaw and bone they take his jaw out and put metal jaw in and took a flap from chest to cover,the flap failed. then they tried to streach skin to cover hole it kept coming apart.he had to walk around with head held down to try to help flap take. now his head cannot lift to look up and it didn't work.They took out the metal jaw and they made a bar on the outside of face and this time they take a chest flap to cover hole . it didn't work either, it died. so they removed flap from shoulder, it wasn,t working and they had to put back on shoulder. now the dr tries to lift skin from the bottom of neck to cover hole underneath chin and used skin graft from leg to cover his chest. it did not stay together either.went to see vascular dr at Shands jacksonville. They said because cancer has spread in neck as a ct scan showed. Does ct scan show detail, are we sure it is all cancer ? I am unsure. They say he is not a candidate for surgery and now is TERMINAL. He also has infection in neck and alot of swelling that keeps going up and down. can these cause false images? he is on steroids and bendryl for swelling it helps, also on antibiotics.he takes alot of pain meds still not out of pain. cannot sleep at night has g tube, he's on jevity. i am his only care taker i change his bandages 3 or 4 times aday. the neck hole seems to be deeper now.
we need options he has "share of cost medicaid".He will not get medicare until april of 2010. he does not have primary care dr does not have cancer dr has the malfacial surgent he tried to save his life out of the goodness of his heart. we are looking at getting kemo now if we can find dr . i keep looking for alternatives.maybe if i keep the area clean and moist and the kemo shrinks the cancer they can reconstruct his face so he can have a good quality of life. I feel so bad for all he and i are going thru. and i love him very much i don,t want to lose him, he is too young. isn,t there something that we can do?
I have read a lot of post,and to those of you that have lost loved ones and to those who have survived and those who are still tring to overcome this my heart and prayer go out to you.
I know I have been thru so much. I'm going to tell you a little about me. Back in sept 2004 my daughter was killed in a car crash. She was 29 and had 4 children it was on her oldest daughters birthday. she was 9 that day. My only other child, Melissa took Angie's children and is raising them along with her 3 children.7 children, Oh my god. Angies children did not get social securty because Angie got SSD before aquiring enough work time.Times are really tough now. The kids live around the corner. I am always doing the best i can to help. in oct 2005 my husband of 18 years died. he had HCV.then got lymphoma and developed cirrosis of the liver. he then developed lung cancer and his body could not handle rad treatments.Then a month later Nov 2005 my father passed away from brain cancer. I am now with my husband's younger brother. we have known each other for a long time and we fell in love each other .IN 2007 their mom passed away from lung cancer we helped take care of her in her last days. I belive she enjoyed her last days with us.Then last year Oct 2008 my little chihuahua, areeba, who i've had for 10 years gets hit by a car on road, and passes away. I am so sad.
I have health problems too, i have a pacemaker (AICD), diabetes, stint in heart, stint in leg ,Thyroid eradacated, neropathy, other things too. There family calls me the rock of there family . I do not want to lose another loved one. It doesn't seem right. If something isn't done soon david will die.
Love to all of you. You are in my prayers.
Thank You for listening to me, Denise

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