Barb,
In reading your posts, I noticed two statements. She said that 'she would see you when you could eat a real meal' and that she 'flew out of the house when you were gagging on half a pill'. Does any of that bring back something that would make her 'relive her father's death' all over again. I tjhink she loves you very much but can't handle the day to day horrors we go through while in this treatment. I think she is also terrified that she will lose you, like she did her father.
Only my guesses, but another thought to consider.

Go to your son's to recuperate and relax. Send her a card if it makes you feel better. Don't stress out over this. YOU need all your strength to get better. The sooner you are feeling better, the sooner she may come around.

Take care,
Eileen