Barb, I think Mark is in the right ballpark about this. If you write to her, maybe you can say that while cancer is scary, what you have is not the same as her dad expreienced, and you will survive. And of course that you miss her. I would bet she is absolutely terrified that you are going to die just like her dad did. This is surely an emotional rather than an intellectual thing, and although it makes little sense, is probably overwhelmingly powerful for her. I am very sorry you have to worry about this.