thank you for all your advice. I come on here once inawhile but sometimes leave in tears...it is too difficult to see those with cancer returning, or how hard it is for some of you. I sit in front of the computer some mornings (usually around 5 a.m when I can be alone) with tears pouring down my face.
David has 2 more chemos (Cisplatin with Erbitux) and will be done with that on September 20th. He has 17 more radiation treatments. We started him back on the feeding tube yesterday as he has lost too much weight and I was getting tired of trying to force him to eat. We have a babysitter set up every Wednesday so I can be with David for his long day of chemo and radiation. Yesterday we were gone from 8 in the morning until 4 in the afternoon. For 3 hours, while he has the chemo, I write. and write. and write. You see, I am a writer. I have had over 125 articles published in magazines and one book about homeschooling published. I have also been in a Chicken Soup book (for mothers) I don't know if this is a crazy time or a good time to be writing about cancer from a caregiver's viewpoint but it is flowing so I am going with it.
David's throat is starting to hurt pretty bad so he is taking Lortab again. His rash is mostly just annoying, not too painful or itchy. He is so constipated it is not funny, and that bothers him most of all right now. He is taking 3 Senokot 3 times a day, with no luck right now. He doesn't get real nauseated from chemo, just a real FULL feeling and no appetite, thus the feeding tube feedings.
I feel fragile, emotionally, on the verge of tears half the time. I'm not sure there is much of a support system for me, beyond the once a week babysitting from siblings and my grown daughter. I know I am taking on too much but have let some things slide, like regular meals (ha!) and laundry. I am not good at asking for help from anyone. My two sisters that I could ask for help are both gone on vacation. I feel abandoned. )