I am a 3 time oral cancer survivor and like all of our members, I do not have a medical degree or background. Ive learned a ton of info by reading every single post and all the info from the main OCF site. After almost 10 years, a lot of it has sunk in
You are making yourself upset about the unknown. You do not know if your tumor is cancer or even what it is. Somehow you are fast forwarding the situation into a death sentence before you have consulted a physician. This way of thinking is not only unproductive but also making everything so much more difficult than it has to be. Do yourself a big favor and stop all the negative thinking. Currently you are a healthy adult who has a very good career, planning a wonderful vacation with your family. Do NOT let this cancer scare steal your time and happiness away from you.
You have control over what you think about. You have control of your emotions and the choices you make in life. At this time no terminal diagnosis has been given so it would be much easier for you if you started looking at this a different way. Practice the following until it becomes second nature... When you start thinking negative thoughts about the "spot", allow yourself only 2 minutes to think about it. Thats all the time you get, then physically get up and "change the channel". Go read a book that holds your interest, start a hobby or home improvement project, go on your vacation, just do something that is positive and requires concentration. This is a way to start getting some peace of mind about your situation.
Until you can get a handle on your thinking, cancer (which you dont even know if you have) is ruling your life. The fear of the unknown is in control right now, not you. Cancer is stealing precious moments away from you (and your family) right under your nose. Your life should NOT be ruled by a teeny tiny "spot"! Being an accountant, you must be a very intelligent person. To me, that means you can overcome the end of the world way of thinking.
As someone who is disfigured after going thru 3 rounds of oral cancer in 3 years, my life can be difficult at times. My scars cant be hidden, Im missing half of my lower jaw. Im fairly certain IF it turns out you would have cancer that you would have a surgery like I did. Remember, take this day by day and dont get too far ahead of yourself.
If you still are struggling mentally after trying several of my suggestions, maybe its time to see your family doctor to ask about anxiety meds and seek out a therapist to help you better manage your emotions? It couldnt hurt. Just make sure if you would get meds to ask about how long it takes until you notice a difference. Some of those meds can take weeks until any improvement is seen while others work for a bad day here and there. Make sure you relate everything you wrote here to your doc so they know the entire story and can better help you.
Hang in there!!!!
