I've been reading your forums and all the stories from the amazing strong people who post here. its the middle of the night but i just cant sleep and feel so scared. i just feel like bursting into tears all the time.

I'm a 46 year old male from England.

I have never smoked and dont drink anymore as I have a fatty liver although i did drink in my youth but never excessive.

for the last 3 weeks ive had a 2x1cm shallow lump on the left side of my hard palate. However, the actual "sore" area seems to be larger than just the lump and stretches towards the centre. It feels solid and doesn't move and doesn't seem to be an ulcer or a cankersore (from pics ive seen on the net). The surface is smooth but it is a very slight different colour to the rest of my hard palate in the dip portion. It doesn't hurt but it is a little sore especially when i press on it or run my tongue firmly over the lump.


Its the first time ive really studied my hard palate and I'm a little shocked as most of mine (in the dipped area) seems more yellow/light than a nice pink colour that most people seem to have. This has totally knocked me for six and I pray each night that it will have shrank overnight but each morning its the same. Whenever I look online all I seem to see is cancer and when i find a pic of a hard palate that looks like mine its always for oral cancer. As my lump is on the left i know its not torus. i seem to be running out of options of what it could be and I'm now convinced this is malignant.

The extra worry for me is that for the past 6 months ive noticed I seem to be struggling with swallowing saliva, especially at night. I can eat and drink fine but swallowing saliva is a struggle and feels like its getting stuck. I originally put it down to anxiety but now the lump has appeared and I'm wondering if this is related.

I have a wonderful wife and two fantastic children and the thought of not being here for them is scaring me. How will they cope as we have a mortgage.

I'm now not sleeping and my anxiety is through the roof and I'm finding it hard to concentrate on anything else. i have hidden my worries from my wife until i have seen the dentist and/or the ENT but I'm finding myself getting emotional all the time.

i see my dentist on Wednesday but he isn't an ENT professional so he will probably send me for a referral to my local hospital. As we have the NHS in the Uk it could be a while before i get the referral and get any results.

Does this sound like hard palate cancer? If not what else could it be? I am so worried its a tumour...as i know the prognosis is poor.

sorry for my long post......