Seremom - Depression is about mood, but it is also about other things - sleep disturbance, appetite changes, loss of concentration, lack of focus, and more. Sometimes, when my clinical clients won't let me treat their depression directly (with anti-depressant drugs), they will follow behavioral prescriptions.
The 'big three' in depression are: diet, rest and exercise. Being depressed generally means being sedantary which suppresses thirst and decreases appetite. Being gravely ill does the same things. When you are depressed you need to eat 4 times per day, drink twice as much water as usual and get regular exercise. A short daily walk will do to begin with. Make between meal snacks a rarity, drink smoothies instead.
Get your doc to prescribe whatever potions are necessary to sleep effectively every night. Mood can't improve when you are exhausted. Sleepy time tea at bedtime, or otc sleep aids, or Ambien, or warm milk, or all of the above. Sleep, though elusive, is imperative.
I remember sitting and thinking about how sick I was, and how rotten I felt - over and over and over. Not really self-pity, just resignation that all the rest of my life would be just like this - empty, alone, meaningless, hurt. The chemo nurses called it "Chemo brain". Its terrible. Mine began to lift when my family stopped treating me like I was going to die.
Diet, rest, exercise. Don't tell him thats what you are doing, and getting him to do, just do it. Badger him into going to the grocery with you. Then park out in the parking lot a ways. Get him to take a Benedryl or Ambien at bedtime - for you. Mix his meds into his food so he has to finish something to get all the drugs. Be creative. Ignore his moping behavior. Open the curtains, put flowers on the table. Eat meals that are good for YOU.
Not everyone wins this battle. Don't let yourself be a secondary casualty. His body will be feeling better now - little bits at a time. Step forward. He'll join you, or he won't. Do whats good for you. That will be good for him too. Trust me on this one. Be strong, Tom J
