Hi Danielle,

I haven't replied to any of your posts thus far but have been reading them. My dad had a hemiglossectomy in November for a BOT cancer. This was a recurrence after radiation so recovering has been slow. His cancer is advanced so it's very different in that sense. I can however share that it took more than one procedure to get clear margins and I know all about the panic due to the Trache. Everyone on here that helped me get through this shared their experiences and the trache is absolutely the worst part. As a result, my father sleeps sitting down or propped up with a light on. His trache was in for about two and a half weeks due to a second surgery but was quickly removed thereafter. It was nice to be able to hear my dads voice. It was certainly difficult to understand but still an improvement. I think once your boyfriend gets his trache removed his mood will perk up. To this day my dad still has an NG tube. He refuses to get the PEG. I think what your boyfriend is experiencing is normal and almost expected. It's hard a caregiver to see someone you love but we have to be supportive and respect their decisions. With time hopefully he will get better. There is nothing wrong with him being on anxiety meds and anti depressants. My dad still takes anxiety medication every so often. I think with time your boyfriend will be eating and talking and back to a new normal soon enough. Make sure you take the time to take care of yourself. I have been so preoccupied with my fathers care that I neglect to take care of myself. Take help from others when necessary so that you can rest and eat. Prayers to you and your boyfriend!