Colleen - I can SO relate to what you are experiencing. . . it's like walking on egg-shells, not knowing what to say that might set him off or how to say it. I will never forget how rough it was on my son. I tried every way I could think of to help him find some things he could control . . . like "do you want chicken broth or beef broth?" or giving him 1,2, 3 choices so he could hold up one, two or three fingers when it was too painful to talk. I couldn't get him to come and stay with me at at my house because of his feeling of loss of control of his own place and having to tell his friends he was living with his mother. (I told him he could tell them I was living with him but that didn't impress him). At one point, I finally exploded and told him that I was doing everything I could to help him survive (driving to appointments, picking up prescriptions, laundry, cleaning, phone calls, food prep, errands, paying bills, and litter pan duty for 3 cats, etc. etc) and I felt he could at least help me out a little with doing what he needed to do for his own care. He did try a little after that. I'm not saying it's time for the Nurse from Hell to make an appearance, but if you think it could work, you could try it. You can always ask for forgiveness later. Your feelings and well-being are important, too. Don't worry too much about the glares. Everyone here is smiling at you, cuz you are a great caregiver.