Husband's weight is in free fall now and he's only 10 radiation treatments into it. He's lost maybe 4 kg in the past 2 weeks, weight is now about 56kg (5ft 9 or 10). He is so thin. Some days he's eaten really well, others not so good but still the weight falls. He says he can't eat more, can't use Sustagen because of nausea or if not that then burping or belly pain or indigestion. Says he simply CAN'T take in more.

Today he's had his weekly chemo. He ate a modest breakfast, no snacks, minimal lunch and 75 mls of Jevity 1.5 cal/ml for the first time using the PEG. Now he's having a small dinner.

This is the thing we are going to argue about. The dietitian told him today what he needs to take in. In trying to get him to actually do it though he got mad at me saying I don't understand, am not listening, he can't possibly do it because of the way he feels, that he will do it tomorrow when things might feel better. But I'm thinking I've been hearing something like this for days and days and tomorrow is never better. I know he feels awful. I own up to my frustration and worry.

I ended the discussion by saying that he heard the dietitian's instructions the same as me. He knows what he needs to do and it is on his shoulders to do it. I will make him whatever he wants, whenever he wants it and be happy doing it because I care about him but that I won't chase, mother or dog him. (At least not for the immediate future -- but I didn't tell him that.) I am at a total loss for what else to do. And I'll say this too because this seems to be a safe place to say it -- I am worried that he isn't going to fight this for himself or me and the kids because it seems too hard. I don't know whether to hold his hand or kick him.

I would be interested to know what motivated and what demotivated the rest of you when it came to keeping intake up. This just sucks all around.