Hi Jamie

Welcome to OCF. Wow, that is a lot to process in a couple years. I am so sorry you have gone through this 3x. You are a warrior! I can not comment on the autoimmune disease so hoping someone else can respond to that.

But, I can offer some coping ideas from my experience. In April of 2020, I had surgery for stage 4 tongue cancer, they removed half my tongue, all nodes on that side of my neck, rebuilt my tongue with skin and artery from my left forearm, rebuilt my forearm with skin from my upper thigh. Had a trach tube for breathing and a feeding tube in my nose. About 2 months after surgery, I received 60Gy units of radiation to my mouth and neck area. Recovery was 6-9 months depending on how you define it. I am still recovering flavors today (rads trashes your flavors and jacks up your sensativity).

I recommend a book titled Anticancer. It has oodles of data on where cancer comes from, how to live healthier to avoid it, etc. A short read on the internet I like - search on cancer is like finding a lion in the fridge. Makes me laugh and cry every time.

I also used many techniques to get my life back to pre-cancer levels. I journaled, studied cancer, read, exercised, practiced faith, reached out to loved ones and old friends, mindfulness, yoga, meds, food, etc. For months, I measured each daily. I had a spreadsheet and would score myself. High scores meant a treat (favorite dessert, movie, whatever). I was only working part time from home so it made it easier to get most activities in daily. These things lifted my spirits, kept me busy, and helped me stay focused on recovery. I had to learn to be patient especially with food. Here I am 2+ years out and i still find new flavors coming back.

After about 3-4 months, I had most of my life on track. I was not yet full strength work and exercise but i could clearly see the path. The spreadsheet slowly disappeared and life kept inching back to pre-cancer levels. I have constant reminders of the experience as my speech is different, my dental bills are approaching a house payment some months, and my neck and shoulder are nearly always tight.

But, I also was able to grow my faith to a level that I never imagined. So, essentially, cancer ended up being a gift of faith wrapped in a giant bag of cancer crap! Besides time with loved ones, journaling was probably one of the best short term tools for my mental health. And, practicing faith has been my best long term tool.

Hope some of this helps. Stay safe and keep the faith.

Nels