Tammy,

I'm not sure how old your children are, but my grandson was 3 when my dad passed away (he just turned 4 last week). We explained to him that his Papa was sick and he needed to be easy with him. Towards the end Jaden would ask when his Papa was going to get better. We told him that he wasn't going to get better but that he would be going to heaven and in heaven you are well again. Jaden doesn't understand the full concept that once you go there you don't come back. This past weekend Jaden saw a picture of Dad here and he picked it up, looked at it and said....I miss my Papa. When is he coming back? My explanations are simple. We took him to the funeral home. He did ask why Papa wouldn't open is eyes and why he wasn't talking. I guessed what amazed me the most is that my dad didn't look anything like himself but Jaden didn't seem to notice the physical difference and he still knew that was his Papa. But let me put a tiny bag of M&M's on the counter out of eyesight and he spots them right after he walks through the door.

I'm sure there are books out there that will give advice on how to explain these things to children. Maybe your pediatrician could recommend some. If your kids are school age, maybe the counsellor at school could help out? I'm sure at the very least they could point you to resources that would be available to you.

I beleive your kids will surprise you through all this and I believe you will find your stregnth in them. Hang in there and use this as a time to get closer to them. You all need each other right now. We are here for you too.

Joy