Oh Amy, My heart goes out to John and you. Such difficult news after the fight you've already fought. I agree that the nurse should not have been the one to tell you this and I think you should say something to the otolaryngologist. He may be a doctor that has a hard time delivering realy difficult news and if so you should be having a direct conversation about that now.

I know very little about this compared to a lot fo people here but I have thought a bit about what I'd want to know about available procedures if I got the bad news that I had a recurrence and I can tell you what I'd want to know VERY clearly before starting anything:

1. what sort of complications and quality of life issues can occur and are likely to occur as a result of this procedure? What is the likelihood of each occuring?

and I'd want to know, to weigh against the risks:

2. What is the likelihood that each of these procedures will get rid of the cancer? Send the cancer into remission (and if so for roughly how long)? Keep the cancer from growing as fast (and for roughly how lojng?)

also I'd want to be sure I knew about what other alternatives there were to the recommended treatment and the dooctor's eprceptions of the risks and benefits of those alternatives.

Finally, if I ever have to deal with what you're dealing with, I would want to go to a CCC (either Sloan or Dana Farber) for treatment--the local folks here, great though they are, are not doing the latest clinical trials and are not among the top specialists in the nation. At this point, you need all the firepower you can get against this disease.

I will be holding you both in my thoughts--and the rest of your family as well. I hope other people ehre can give you more concrete suggestions and encouragement.

Nelie