Dave
There is not much to add except to agree with what everyone has said especially Tonya. Please remember to take care of yourself. I am sure your blues are mostly related to the holidays the expectaions of how we are supposed to feel are all but ridiculous and even when we rationalize it they still can creep up on us. You are grieving and you are entitled to. Remember it is process with ups and downs good days and bad. Despite all you have been through you seem to have found a comfort zone in which you can function and now here is all this extra happy jolly and to do...The reality is no matter what culture or religion you are what this season is really all about is simply a celebration of light coming into our lives and celebrating the end of darkness. By the birth of a savior, the miracle of a lamp staying lit, the end of a season of fasting or the change in the solar cycle and the lengthing of the days....It is pretty universal and put in place to remind us that there is goodness and hope in the great design. The rest of the stuff is just what we make it. Even a few stolen moments can help to keep you going so please feel free you have our permission to steal take some down time for yourself...even if it is just an hour to take a walk, read something frivolous, just think and dream about the future and that trip to where ever you would like to be or have a plain old fashioned good cry. BE EXTRA GOOD TO YOURSELF..You have already proven what you are made of, you have done your parents proud and well. You deserve to be HUGGED not only by us but by yourself. Peace Denise