Dave,
I know I feel the same way sometimes, but it doesn't seem to last too long. Sometimes I just feel so sorry for us and can't believe how much life has changed and really will never be the same. I have recently realized that I usually go into a little depression after we are "out" somewhere. Seems like when it is just my husband, my son, and myself, we are in our safe little isolated nest, everything sooms ok. When we're out I think I really notice just how different we are. But I have recognized this and it is gettng better. I think you just have to let yourself feel as you do(as long as not too despondent) and be patient. I'm not sure why, but I do think it gets better. I think that in the situations where the effects are so life-altering and permanent, we must just get used to it, and therefore deal better with it. But I think that takes time and is an ongoing process. I guess it's like someone in a wheelchair, who knows the changes are permanent and unbelievably life-altering, but eventually life is ok. I know when I look at my husband and realize he will never swallow or speak understandably again it can be crippling. I just try to take it one day at a time and look for today to be a little bettet than a few months ago. I do know that for both of us today is a lot better than even 2 months ago. I wish you well and hope you have a peaceful holiday season. Try to be kind to yourself and remember it's ok to be sad life has not been fair to us, but we will go on-after all, we have come this far.
Sincerely,
Doreen