Hi, Liz
I had what turned out to be RA/Lupus flares off and on throughout my husband's diagnosis and therapy. But it didn't really cripple me (enough to see a doctor) until he was about six months out of treatment and doing quite well. Intense physical pain, insomnia, really embarrassing crying jags. I also felt completely imcompetent. Once my autoimmune drugs kicked in, I felt like my life had been handed back to me.
I wish you all the best in your own return to health. You are a wonderful person and caregiver, and I feel sure that things will turn around for you.