Liz,
I have not been through what your husband has or what you have experienced for that matter. My husband and I feel like we have been through the ringer however. It is difficult for caretakers as well as the patient. I do not find it abnormal that you are feeling the way you do. I think it will get better for you. Apparently when you were going through it all you were able to block out the reality, and now you are facing the loss of what used to be. Everyone on this site has that feeling. You have a visual reminder, the obturator, that I do not have.

I echo the advice previously given. "Talking" it out here should help. If it is not better soon you could seek out counseling. I think it is all very understandable.

Best,
Anne