Hi, Bean -

The day I got my cancer diagnosis, I got a call from a friend who had terminal cancer. He said, "Marlene. You're not going to die today. You're not going to die tomorrow. You know what I'm doing? I'm sitting on my porch with my wife and enjoying a glass of wine." Kinda put my diagnosis in perspective, & it was the best phone call I could have received.

I know that fear can drive you crazy. Slow down that monkey brain, if you can. Deal with what you know today. Today you know you don't have cancer. Today you are not a burden on your family. Today you are not in a nursing home. Today you are not in hospice. Chances are, you won't be in a nursing home tomorrow, either.

If your dysplasia has developed into cancer, you don't know what, if any treatment you may need. Surgery may be all you need, but you've put yourself on that radiation table and have given yourself an experience you say you or your family couldn't live with. That's Fear talking, again.

I know it's difficult to tame fear because it wants to control you. Fear is a bully. Many years ago a relative's soon-to-be-ex husband broke into my house & trashed it. She didn't want me to call the police because she feared he would do something worse. I was afraid of the guy, but it was fear that caused me to call the police so I could get some protection. You have good reason to be fearful - especially during this time of uncertainty - but use your fear productively: let it take you to the doctor.

Re dysplasia. I was first diagnosed with severe dysplasia - the cells *had* gone to the dark side. My surgery cleared up mysteries in my diagnosis, and I didn't need radiation or chemotherapy. I hope your outcome will be as positive.

Until you have some answers, please come here to vent. There are so many wonderful people on this forum who have seen, heard and experienced just about everything about Oral Cancer; & we've all experienced fear. We're here to help you fight it.

Peace,
Marlene