Kellijojo - first off I am terribly sorry for what you are going through at this time - I lost my mom ten years ago and miss her desperately to this day. I am an only child and weathered the lung cancer with her to the end - it was devastating. I cannot imagine losing a sibling too - that's just horrible. It already seems like you've lost so much, and I know sometimes it seems like moving forward is impossible but I have to agree with all of the posters here.... Firstly I was a nurse and working the OR has to be hard because you see what goes on behind the scenes but I have to tell you the neck dissection is not that bad. I HATED the trache but that's gone in 3 to five days and while it is a tough surgery I recovered well and am now 4 weeks out ( as of yesterday ) I have been very lucky and have not had a lot of pain. mostly numbness and stiffness. I know it's not the same for everyone but it is manageable please don't give up you are only 6 years older than me and have a whole lot of life left. I also had 1/3 - 1/2 of my tongue removed and am eating and speaking fine ( though my new part is still swollen and i have a bit of a lisp)
Secondly as a parent in would never want my child to give up. Fight because you are your parents gift to the world. And as a nurse you affect people's lives every day - that is your gift.
Thirdly - get a referral to a ccc - in the interim have your gp or ENT requisition an head neck and chest CT and an MRI - to see if there is node involvement - I had one node involved but that and 39 of it's friends are all gone now so I am happy. I still have radiation and chemo facing me in the next few weeks but that's me... Everyone is different - that may not be your story. OC statistics are a melting pot - they throw everything in there but the kitchen sink and do not take into consideration age, other health concerns, history of smoking, aggressiveness of the cancer etc... They just churn out a number. My tumor was 2.4 cm x 1.4... Yours is smaller and you caught it early.
I was scared sh*tless when I first found out, so I understand but please don't give up.
Best wishes to you and take care.