Nathan:
What you're dealing with is understandable. The smallest thing right now can take you over the edge. What you're seeing and/or feeling is the reason for the new treatments you are about to dive into. You will attack this and you will win. DON'T YOU EVEN THINK OF LETTING ANYTHING PERSUADE YOU OTHERWISE. I felt almost doomed after the surgery and then learning it was back for another fight 5 months later. 4 years after treatment and I have a darned good life and a new outlook. Once in a while (Like everyone else) I can get some self pity going (When I can't eat a steak, open my mouth wide to shove a burger in it, run out of energy, or taste anything, I feel my speech is slurring, or my neck looks weird, etc). I am HERE, breathing, and loving the folks that I wanted to be here for. If it all started over again tomorrow I'll be right there in the fight again! Remember the big picture! I love your vids, they show tenacity and drive, and give all of us here a little bit of insight into ourselves and our journeys, and a reason to help one another, especially new members to the "Club." Don't ever give up!
Steve