Nathan - you are going through exactly what my son went through during his treatment! I worried a lot about how down he was feeling and I had read about the effects of some of his medications and sure enough when I told Paul he checked his prescription bottle and it said "may cause suicidal thoughts". He called his doctor and felt better after that because he knew it was just the meds causing this. So maybe you could check with your doctor and tell him exactly how you are feeling in case he wants to change your meds. Paul had lots of sores, too in his mouth which were just part of the treatment. You can get thru this, Nathan! You have LOTS of people that care -sometimes, they just don't know how to react but the people here on this forum know what you are going through and it's good you came here to express your feelings. Crying helps, too - it kind of releases some of the pent up feelings so that you can move on to some better thoughts and feelings. It takes very small steps - sometimes even minute to minute but you will get there. You mentioned that when this is over, "the show will go on" and you will be that other person we know. Nathan, you will be an even better person because you will have survived this! More hugs coming your way!