Dan, thank you for posting your question which has been lingering in my mind all the time. Your question also triggers a lot of stimulating responses and insightful thoughts as stated in the previous posts which I read word by word .You are very lucky to have found this forum so early and believe me you are at the hardest stage now waiting for going back to your job.I bumped into the OCF (11.2002)after I had suffered from very severe depression (4.2002).My story could have been totally different if I had found this support group earlier. People around me didn't know what had happened to me thinking that I should feel grateful when the treatment had successfully killed the cancer in my body and that I should be able to lead a normal life soon. They didn't understand my problem and feelings because they were just onlookers and of course I don't want anybody I know to be in my boat at all. So their words were not convincing to me and sometimes I rejected their words of comfort. Minniea, my husband also thinks that the cancer has left me forever and says that I will live longer than he and I should be the one taking of my sons when he leaves me! Brian is right that if you get yourself occupied, you won't dwell on the word cancer so often. I never think about it when I am teaching my students, when I am swimming, when I am reading a story book, when I am cooking dinner for my sons,when I... Dan, don't worry about things that we cannot control.

Karen stage 4 tonsil cancer diagnosed in 9/01.