I don't think I can improve on what everyone before has said to you. I do know from my own experience now 5 years out, that cancer is never far from my thoughts, of course my situation is unique since I deal through the foundation with tons of people each week that have questions, or are in end of life issues. Often I see myself in them. Cancer scared me in a way that I had never been scared before, more than Vietnam, more than other events that nearly took my life. I think it was because I have basically lived an illusion most of my life, and that is that I was in control of it. When it comes to the small things there maybe some truth that your free will and decisions set you on various paths of success or failure, life or death. But with a disease like cancer, I was totally out of the control part of this experience. I didn't engage in lifestyle issues that might have caused it, and it was going to be up to doctors who I had just met to get me through it. Having lived the life of control illusion successfully before cancer, this came as quite a shock to me. I think less about death, than I do about suffering, or loss of mental or physical control. As Mark has stated so many times, there are so many ways to go, and you just never know when or how, why give cancer any more weight than that car that runs the red light?

Living in the now is the best we can do. Statistics offer us little help, as we are not the same as those in them, so to a certain extent it is apples and oranges. But like every survivor, I read them and thought about them. Without going into the minutia of it all (since they may not apply to you), statistically, recurrences happen MOSTLY in the first two years, after that their occurrence drops drastically off, and after five years drops drastically again. That doesn