Well, just the shock of me doing something so out of character is a very real fear. It's enough just coming to grasp with this disease without all the guilt and shame associated with it. I don't even care to tell anyone else that I have it simply because I'm tired of dealing with THEIR issues and desire to be treated normally and not like "dead woman walking"

Perhaps I realize that it's key to my recovery that I do get treated as "normal" and have some control. Granted I don't want to endure pain constantly just to maintain my faculties, but there's gotta be a solution.

Humor seems to usually be my vent valve, but if you are generally considered "funny" by nature, people will consider you a nut. I've embraced this nuttiness, and even have the capacity to laugh at myself when necessary. But man, I've always had control over myself, gotta KEEP that control.

Jen