Doreen,
My brother's surgery was at the end of January and sounds very simular to your husbands - Stage IV, removal of tongue, lower jaw, part of upper, part of throat, lymph nodes, floor of mouth, so I can definately relate to what is happening in your life. I would definately check and see if Ritalin is the right course of treatment. Of course your husband is feeling depressed, his life has completly changed in a very short time. Keep in mind that it takes most anti-depressants a month to begin working. David also had problems with secrection and "plugs" caused by the trach. We were finally given a "breathing machine" we called it - it just created humididy that came up through a hose and into a mask that went over his throat. Doing this 2-3 times a day for 15 minutes at a time helped more than anything, but the problem still remained to some extent. There are also saline drops but they didn't do much for him.
When my brother lost his ability to speak we bought him a palm pilot. They are small enough to carry everywhere with you (just don't set on them if they are in your hip pocket - he learned this the hard way). You can use the little pencil to write on the screen or you can type the words. There is a program you can download on to the palm that will "say" the words he has written. I can get that info if you want, though my brother just preferred to write his notes. You can also put games (solitare, etc) or other things on it that can help occupy their minds when there's nothing to do. It also affords some privacy. I know when David would write things on a paper note pad people were always picking it up and reading past notes so nothing he every said to anyone was private.
As for being around people - maybe he has a good friend who could come over and just take him out for a drive, for a walk, or just watch a movie with him - this helped Davy a great deal and kept him from feeling completely alone. Davy never complained of not feeling "normal" or being bitter about what he had lost. He was just so glad to be here. Of course, I'm sure he felt a devestating sadness at his loss to speak and eat and sometimes I wished he would share it with us so he didn't have to go through the pain alone. I don't know how old your husband is, but I assume he is relatively young. Help him focus on all he still has. Also, it can take months for his body to rebound from the treatments and surgery. I know my normally active brother rarely left his recliner for about 3 1/2 months following his surgery. He just physically had no energy or strength. Please keep us updated on your husband's progress and if there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask.
Tonya