Steph, I have started to write several times and have had to quit because like u I am having a really hard time with this. My mom would of been 65 this year too. And like you I find that everyone else just sorta goes on with there life and me and my dad are stuck in this place of grieving. What I want more than anything is some sort of sign that she is at peace, that it is ok for me to live my life and not to feel guilty. I feel i should've done more. I was her main caregiver, so that my dad could work full time so they would have insurance. She was 9 months out of chemo and radiation and i finally felt like maybe life was getting to the new normal. She was taken from me so abrubtley and i never even got to say goodbye. People tell me that god took her for a reason and she is no longer suffering, I guess I am supposed to find comfort in that, but I am not to that point yet. My little angel is starting kindergarten this week and I want my mom here for that, It just isnt fair.

As for going through my moms things I am mostly letting my dad do it at his own pace. i for one am nnot ready for that. I am sory I am not really helping much but I hope that u can find some sort of comfort in knowing u r not alone.