I am sure you all have experienced a new post similar to this one. I hope I do not bore you but I HAVE to talk to people that understand what I am going through.

My Daddy, who I love more than my life, was disgosed with Oral Cancer yesterday. My mother died from Breast Cancer in 2005 so I believe he is in a pretty advanced stage.

We go to the Cancer Specialist on Monday (for Radiology), another Specialist on Wednesday (for medical oncology) and I do not know from there. I am breaking right now and my heart is in a million pieces.

I am trying to be strong for my Dad. He needs that right now. So, in his face, I will not cry and "play" as if everything will be fine...we just are going to fight this.

Seriously, alone...I cannot stop crying and feel as if no one truly understands. See, my Daddy and I are close. Closer than my mother and I was. My whole life has been about pleasing him. I got my Bachelor's degree to make him happy. I live my life for he can be proud of me. I never left Michigan because I did not want to leave him, ever!

What do I do if I lose him....No one should have to lose both parents to cancer in two years!!! I am going to be a parentless adult child at 37. This is not fair!!!

My kids are teenagers. My son graduates from high school next year and my daughter in 2009. I want my Daddy to be there, period. I don't know what to do or how to cope.

I want to take him to that Cancer Treatment Center because he MUST get the best treatment. Does anyone know if they are the best? He is currently at the University of Michigan for treatment and I believe they are good but he has to survive. I seeking survival as the only option for him.

Really, I need help too. I cannot see my life carrying on without him in it. I know people say, "Your kids needs you", "Your husband needs you", "You have to go on". To that, I say WHATEVER!! I want God to take me before ever taking my Daddy!! Give him whatever needed from me...for him to live! He cannot die!

What do I do? I cannot type this without crying. This is so unfair and I hate this! How unlucky can I be for two parents to possibly die of this terrible disease?

All comments will be appreciated. Thanks for listening.

Monica