Hello Ted.
You have me laughing down here in South Florida...You are a funny man! It takes the edge off when we can make jokes of our defects and situations. I think you found a home away from home here. On a serious note though, there is a prosthesis for the roof of your mouth to prevent "backwash" for lack of a better word. It's an orbitor something or other. I believe Colleen aka August uses one. I think it's to replace the hard palate, I'm not sure. You said your soft palate. I'm sure they have some type for your situation. Someone will chime in here and give you the correct name. I am sure your problem has a solution. PS. You don't have to be 8 years old to laugh when someone has something come through their nose! It usually happens after an extremely funny joke or incident.
Take care, Petey