Welcome Karen
I went through all of the same emotions you are describing when my Dad was diagnosed in January of this year. I actually wondered at times if I would ever stop crying. For the first couple of months I would just start crying out of the blue anywhere and didn't feel like I had control of it.
Don't worry it will get better with time but it is still very hard. The OCF forum has been an invaluable resource for me. Just know you are never alone. Keep asking questions and again welcome to the group -
Kim S.


Caregiver to Father:Stage III unknown primary; modified left side neck dissection 2/2006; 8 wk trmts of Erbitux 3/2006 with-37 radition treatments; 11.2010; biopsy of base of tongue results questionable. 9.2013 tumor on left side of tongue; squamous cell cancer. 10.2.2013 Hemiglossectomy(1/2 tongue removed) with reconstruct tongue using left thigh tissue;surgery included IORT.
25 additional IMRT radiation trtmts & 5 wks/chemo. Carbo & Taxol combo.NPO;100% PEG depend;aspiration pneumonia 3/2014