Wendy, its imperative that you understand stopping treatments is NOT an option if you want to eliminate the cancer. You are very lucky to have a supportive family there to help you. But at the same time, Im concerned about the choices they are telling you to make. Unless you have family members who have had years of medical training and/or they have knowledge of oral cancer, its treatments and side effects then they probably arent the best ones to be making your medical decisions. From what you described, they do not have a good understanding of how invasive OC and its treatments can be. SCC OC has claimed the lives of far too many good people. It is a deadly disease that you MUST treat completely to eliminate it or it will continue to grow. Your caregivers can read and learn about OC on the main OCF site. I posted the links in one of the first replies I made to your posts.

As Ive told you from the start you need to focus on what you have within your control... your intake. Every single day, you MUST take in at least 2500 calories and 48-64 oz of water or treatments will be much harder than they have to be. Since your weight has continued to drop you need to up your daily calories to 3000 +, optimal would be 3500 calories per day. The biggest issue here is your inability to keep food and water down. A feeding tube will not change having nausea. Have you discussed your nausea with your doctors? Usually only patients who are having chemo will suffer so much with severe nausea. The mouth sores can be helped with the baking soda/salt/warm water mouth rinse, prescription magic mouthwash, pain meds, and manuka honey. Whatever you take in that you throw up needs to be replaced. Losing weight so quickly has its own set of problems its causing. After going thru weeks of not getting enough calories and hydration, it will eventually catch up with any patient leaving them feeling absolutely terrible. This quickly can turn into a vicious cycle of playing catch up which is impossible to get ahead of. Ive been down that road and it landed me in the hospital several times for malnutrition and dehydration. I felt so bad I thought I was actually in the first stages of dying (I wasnt but I sure felt that bad). I know what you are going thru and how difficult it is. PLEASE help yourself and push yourself to eat and drink. You are coming to a critical point where you must turn your situation around. When I was going thru rads and really struggling, the malnutrition and dehydration were getting the best of me where I had trouble concentrating, remembering, multi-tasking, reading and carrying on a conversation. I do NOT want to see you get to this low point like I did.

I also advise you to ask at your treatment facility to speak to a therapist or other mental health professional who works with cancer patients. Many members have taken anxiety meds to get thru rads. This may be something that can help you. Without a strong support system at home, you need someone who understands what you are going thru and can help you to get thru it. Having someone to talk to face to face can help a patient to feel so much better.

At your treatment facility ask the nurses to use their suction machine to help with the thick mucous. Your doc can write you a prescription to get a portable suction machine at home too. Sleeping with your head slightly propped up on an incline and a humidifier at night helps too. Dairy products while soothing on the mouth sores also make more mucous. Have you talked with a nutritionist at your facility yet? If not, ask if they have someone available. Hopefully they have someone there who is familiar with the challenges an OC patient goes thru.

From what you wrote I know you must be feeling terrible. I completely understand, Ive been down that road myself. What it takes to turn this around is within your reach. You MUST talk openly to your medical team and let them know everything you have been telling us. Tell them all about your support you have at home and what they think you should do. Ask about a therapist, nutritionist, feeding tubes, prescriptions for a portable suction machine and extra fluids to keep you hydrated. We all are in your corner cheering you on, we believe in you. Probably more faith than you have in yourself. We are here to listen if you need to vent or offer suggestions to help make this as easy as possible. But, we can only do so much. Bottom line is... its up to you if you choose to take the advice given to enable you to turn your situation around. Im sorry if it seems like I nag you about your intake. Im not trying to give you a hard time at all. I hate OC and what it does to good people. I only want to see you succeed so you can bounce back and return to your regular lifestyle.

Keep trying and dont give up, no quitting is allowed. Today is a new day, a fresh start to get things right. You have a new chance to meet your daily minimums for calories and water (with your medical teams assistance). See your medical team and tell then everything!!! You need their help immediately today. Speak up and be your own advocate. Dont ever forget they work for you and you deserve their undivided attention right away, if they dont pay attention stick to your guns and tell them you are depending on their years of medical training and expertise. Keep us posted and best wishes with everything!!!!



PS... Im sending you a PM so click on the tiny flashing envelope.