May I offer you some advice?

Couple of things........You are the one going through this. I've learned that most people, even close family, only want to hear positive responses. I know they mean well with their questions, but if you're honest with them about how you actually feel they'll probably stop asking. (They ask and offer supportive statements to reassure themselves just as much as they are concerned about you.)

The ENT with the table lamp manner. So What? All you need is for him to do his job and do it to the best of his abilities. Some doctors have a great combination of surgical and social skills, others not so much. Seems like you have the former.

Create some mental / emotional space for yourself. Stop answering the phone and / or responding to texts or emails. Take some time to get yourself in the right mood mentally and emotionally. Try to get some quality sleep.

Unfortunately, oral cancer is a bitch of a diagnosis and it takes a lot of time, effort, and strength to become cancer free.

Good Luck